If I Were A Boy
by HoldingontohopE
Summary: This is just a songfic centering around the song, "If I Were A Boy" by Beyonce. It's a Smitchie BTW! Rated T for some language. R&R PLEASE!


**A/N- Hello peoples! This is a songfic with the song, "If I Were A Boy" by Beyonce. If you haven't heard it, you should so listen to it. You probably won't be able to get the full effect of this songfic unless you've heard it. Anyways, I think it's a pretty good songfic. But, your opinion matters to me too! LOL! Please read and review! I'D REALLY APPRECIATE IT! THANKS! I LOVE THIS SONG!**

**I DON'T OWN: THE CHARACTERS OR THE SONG! PART OF THE PLOT CENTERS AROUND BEYONCE'S VIDEO TOO! NOT ALL OF IT THOUGH! THE STORY STORY IS MINE!**

_If I were a boy  
Even just for a day  
I'd roll outta bed in the morning  
And throw on what I wanted then go  
Drink beer with the guys  
And chase after girls  
I'd kick it with who I wanted  
And I'd never get confronted for it.  
Cause they'd stick up for me._

I was sure, no I knew for a fact, that he didn't understand how it hurt. To see him with other girls; flirting with them right in front of me. Sometimes I wished that we could switch places, just for a little while. Then, he would finally see how much it hurt. Then he would promise to be a better man and love me better than he does now.

"Hey baby… how's your day been?" Really?

After he kissed me on the cheek, I gave a short reply, because I knew that he wouldn't even listen if I tried to tell him about my day.

"Fine. You better hurry up and get ready."

He turned to be with a bewildered expression. "What are you talking about? Get ready to go where?"

I set my cup of coffee onto the counter, already getting irritated.

"The movies. Remember our date?" He continued to look at me confused and then astonishment appeared on his face.

"Oh yeah! About that, the guys are getting together to down a couple of beers and watch some T.V."

"What, so you're just going to ditch me for your little buddies? Shane, we made these plans over a week ago!"

He smiled and walked over to me. "No wonder I forgot then. Look, we'll hang out tomorrow okay?"

I gave him a dirty look, pushed myself off of the counter, and stalked away.

_If I were a boy  
I think I could understand  
How it feels to love a girl  
I swear I'd be a better man.  
I'd listen to her  
Cause I know how it hurts  
When you lose the one you wanted  
Cause he's taken you for granted  
And everything you had got destroyed_

We were outside the club screaming angrily at each other. Once again, he was dancing with another girl a little too intimately than he should have been. Damn it, if only he knew how it feels to feel betrayed, to feel unloved and unappreciated.

"Why are you so mad Mitch? I was just dancing with her! Damn, you get so jealous sometimes over the stupidest things. You act like I slept with her right there on the dance floor! You have some serious issues to work through."

"What the hell are you talking about? Are you for real? You sound so stupid right now! You might as well have slept with her right then and there! It was that bad Shane!"

I put my head in my hands and started to cry.

"You don't get it Shane, you just don't get it."

I went inside and grabbed my purse and coat. Before I stepped back out, I heard the bouncer's words to Shane.

"Man, that's a great girl you got there. You're going to lose her if you don't start treating her like she should be treated. I promise when I tell you that when she walks out of your life, you're going to find that your life is destroyed. I found that out a long time ago and never got her back and I regret it more than anything. That's when I swore to myself that I would be a better man."

My tears pooled over then. I gulped and pushed the door open. He didn't even come after me when I called a cab, when it pulled up, when I got in, when it drove off. All he did was go back in to the club.

_If I were a boy  
I would turn off my phone  
Tell everyone it's broken  
So they'd think that I was sleepin' alone  
I'd put myself first  
And make the rules as I go  
Cause I know that she'd be faithful  
Waitin' for me to come home (to come home)_

I laughed as I walked to the coffee shop with my best friend Caitlyn. She always had a mind-blowing funny story to tell me, which was the reason I was laughing now. As soon as she glanced inside the window, she stopped laughing and walking at the same time.

"What is it? Did you see a hot guy?" Of course I was teasing, because she was with Nate Ellison.

She looked at me with earnest eyes. "Uh, let's go to Starbucks instead of our usual coffee shop. I hear they have a new coffee contraption that's like really cool to watch while they make your coffee!"

I just looked at her with what was I knew a sad, hopeless, and hurt face. He was in there even though he said he would be working late that night, so he couldn't stay home with me. In the back of my mind, I knew that he was lying over the phone, but I wanted to believe him so badly. I wanted to believe that he really did want to spend time with me; that he truly couldn't.

Caitlyn put her hands on my arms and gave me a sympathetic smile. "You and me are going to go to my house, you are going to spend the night, and we are going to forget about him for now. You understand me Mitchie Torres? You better! Or, I will have to beat you up to make you understand!"

She winked at me and then put her arm around my shoulders as we walked toward her apartment building.

Later, when I tried calling him, he never did answer. He was trying to pretend that he didn't have a girlfriend again.

_It's a little too late for you to come back  
Say its just a mistake  
Think I'd forgive you like that  
If you thought I would wait for you  
You thought wrong_

I waited and waited. It was 2:00 o'clock in the morning and Shane was still not home. I sat on the couch staring at the T.V. that wasn't even on. After 2 years of pain, I was about ready to give up my hope, my love, my strength, and my fight. I was so tired of this crap. It was as if we never even knew each other in the first place. I wanted to be with him. For so long, I wanted him to be mine. Not once did he make me feel as if he was. I had devoted myself to him though, given myself to him, and been there for him multiple times. In the end, it didn't matter. I couldn't change how he acted, how he treated me, how he ignored me, and how he was period. Shane had changed and there was nothing I could do about it. My heart of course, was shred into pieces strand by strand by now. I loved him so much and probably always would.

I heard the click of the lock and Shane walked into the living room after shutting the door.

"Hey, you still up? Aren't you tired?" Aren't you? Out there not caring that I'm home alone?

I stood up slowly and looked up at him, his eyes showing in the moonlight.

"Listen Shane, I'm going to move into Caitlyn's apartment tomorrow. If you could help Nate and us move my things, I would appreciate it. If you can't, that's fine. We'll manage."

As I brushed past him, he grabbed my arm. "Why are you moving out? Things were going good right?"

I turned to him with tears in my eyes while my frustration grew in increments.

"Things were going good? From where I was standing, things were horrible. For me at least they were. I love you, but I'm done with this treatment."

He looked at me incredulously. "What are you talking about? What treatment?"

My voice rose. "You completely ignore me all the time. We never spend time together anymore. You lie to me all the time about having to work when I know you're not working. By the way, I saw you at he coffee shop Saturday night. Shane, you barely kiss me anymore either! Explain that to me!"

Although I fought as hard as I could, tears ran down my cheeks in floods.

"You never listen to me! You have no idea what it's like to hurt when you're taken for granted or when you see the one you love dancing insanely sensually with some other chick. Don't you dare tell me I'm too sensitive, because I know I'm not!"

He held me close and whispered in my ear urgently. "Oh Mitch, I promise I'll be a better boyfriend and appreciate you so much more! I love you! Please forgive me! Don't leave! Please?"

I walked away. You're just a boy… I kept telling myself this the whole way out of his life.

6 months later

The bouncer was right… Shane thought.

_But you're just a boy  
You don't understand  
Yeah you don't understand  
How it feels to love a girl someday  
You wish you were a better man  
You don't listen to her  
You don't care how it hurts  
Until you lose the one you wanted  
Cause you've taken her for granted  
And everything you have got destroyed  
But you're just a boy_

**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! PLEASE AND THANK-YOU! HOPE YOU LIKED IT!**


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